“How do them vampires in Twilight have such a nice house? Do they work heaps? How do they afford it? Pretty silly when you think about it, huh?”
In a movie full of vampires, warewolves and stupid romantic themes, your main focus is how the family of vampires manage to keep up with their mortage repayments? *Unfriend*
Do You Skype? - http://tinyurl.com/DoYouSkype
”..feels like when a window closes in my life a door closes too! Sucks, man!”
Aw. I’m sorry, dude. Look on the bright so though; at least when you’re inside with the doors and windows closed no one can see how big of a wet blanket you are! STOP BUMMING OUT MY NEWS FEED! *Unfriend*
UFC Store Gift Card - http://tinyurl.com/UFCStoreGift
For your 14th birthday your parents decorated your entire house. They invited all of your friends and we had a blast. You threw a fit because they didn’t get the present you asked for. I should have known then you’d grow up to be a slag. *Unfriend*
Want to become a Fashion Designer? http://tinyurl.com/StudyFashionDesign
“Is it true that Marcia Brady had sex with her brother in real life?! YUCK!”
Marcia Brady is a fictional character, you fucktard. *Unfriend*
UFC Store Gift Card - http://tinyurl.com/UFCStoreGift
“Been looking for months and hate all modern homes they are so crisp and cold - no heart!”
Perhaps we could interest you in something a little more like where you’re currently living. You know, the place with the stained bath tub and spare bedroom full of broken computers? *Unfriend*
Want to Get Back with Your Ex? http://tinyurl.com/ExTogetherAgain
You pay almost a thousand dollars to have the ‘feng shui’ in your house assessed by a professional. Your gas bill remains unpaid and overdue. I’m no psychic; but I have a premonition you’re life will remain out of order long after you rearrange your night stand. *Unfriend*
Attracting Any Guy You Want is Actually Easy - http://tinyurl.com/AttractAnyGuy
When you dance you do this ‘come here’ gesture with your finger. You shouldn’t. It makes you look like a creepy, old rapist who lives out in the woods and collects skin. *Unfriend*
Quickly max out your Diablo 3 character - http://tinyurl.com/DiabloCharacterSpeedGuide
Remember the time we all came home and someone had ripped out the trees your parents had planted the day before and thrown them on your roof. That was us. *Unfriend*
Certain common foods that work better than Beauty creams and lotions - http://tinyurl.com/BeautyofFood
“Such a cosy little home we’ve made.”
Let’s be honest. You’re living in a 1 bedroom place with 3 dogs. I give it 13 minutes before that place starts to smell like shit if it hasn’t already. *Unfriend*
What’s the first thing you’d buy if you won the lottery? http://tinyurl.com/LottoWinnerGlory
Luxurious. Spacious. Stunning View. Dream Home. All words you used to describe your new home. When I stayed there overnight it was a smoggy, stuffy shit hole and the hot water was fucked. *Unfriend*
What’s the first thing you’d buy if you won the lottery? http://tinyurl.com/LottoWinnerGlory
